Possibly The Greatest Writing Team Ever Assembled (After 1789)

Carell, Colbert, Louis CK, Kaufman, Robert Smigel, Odenkirk. Jesus Christ its sarcasm's wet dream. Kaufman? Charlie Kaufman in a writers room is a Cuisinart of fear and intrigue. Can you imagine the discourse between him and Colbert? Yeah, me neither. The outcome of this Avengers/Team America workforce, 6 episodes and a fuck off. But allow me take this time to congratulate "Two & a Half Men" on its 6th season; keep up the sub-par work fellas.


Good luck Daniel.

The Man Behind the Man Behind the Man Running the Country

This is the man who will be blueprinting our country's budget for the next four (hopefully eight) years. Also the New Yorker did an interesting piece on him and the budget that is worth having a gander at.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Peter Orszag Pt. 2
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

Post Script: Kudos to Jon Stewart on his continued excellence in the field of faux News. The opening paragraph in the New Yorker article does him more justice then I could.

Where in World is Nick Lafferty Update

Jesse White has obtained 2 recent pictures of "Nick" that should help with this global effort. Again if you have any information about this enlarged man-baby please contact el Blanco at whereintheworldisnicklafferty@whogivesashit.com. Thank you & god bless.

Have You Seen This Man?

Missing 4 days. Presumed dead. Russian ex-comrade wanted for questioning. If alive "Nick", as he responds to, will most likely be frequenting numerous eateries with this expression plastered on food depository. If you have any information regarding this debonair gentleman please contact The White at whreintheworldisnicklafferty@whogivesashit.com. It takes a village; lets find him. Updates coming.

Cheaper than a Cup of Coffee in Heels

Ayi is Chinese for maid. I have an ayi. I pay her the equivalent of three dollars an hour. She cleans my apartment in high heels. She does not wear these high heels over to the apartment. She leaves the high heels at my apartment. She comes over in normal flats, enters the apartment, removes her flats and puts on the high heels that have been sitting there since the last time she cleaned. I did not request that she clean in high heels. I will from now on request that all cleaning people (yes people) wear high heels. My ayi is comfortably in her 60s. I am perplexed. I would gladly up her wage to 4 dollars an hour. I am going to smoke a cigarette.

Somebody Stole My Movie Idea...It Was Only A Matter of Time

They Call it HONG KONG

Regarding tourist visas, China has come up with an interesting rule that a person can stay here for 2 years only they must leave the country every 60 days (90 if you got your visa in Chicago). Nick and I left for Hong Kong on Nick's 59th day in China. For those of my readers who are unaware, Hong Kong is not officially part of China. It is an entirely separate entity that bends to the will of China, like Taiwan. It is also the easiest way to leave the country quickly. So Nick, me and our associate Lizzy boarded a 20 hour train with a bottle of whiskey, 14 beers and a loaf of bread. 18 1/2 hours later I wanted to see neither my companions or a train ever again. After a quick trip to the dinning car and a trim of the dog, I was ready to go through customs and board ANOTHER train to get into Hong Kong.

Hong Kong is the bastard child of Britain and China if it were raised by a Jewish accountant and a Swiss Banker (i.e. On the Hong Kong Bible it reads "In Money We Trust") on the Lost Island. The cars in Hong Kong are backwards, they love Benny Hill, they have a Red Light District and they speak Cantonese with a British accent. It's fascinating.

I would love nothing more then to regale you with stories of the nightlife and my time spent with a certain anonymous USC alumni who was born and raised in Hong Kong, but these stories are so verbose and otherworldly that it would cause you to age 6 years just hearing about it.

Needless to say I took the 90 minute return flight.


Post Script: I took the Magnetic Levitation Train (301km an hour) home from the Shanghai Airport; my 6 years were returned to me.

2nd Degree Manslaughter

"I once sold a woman a pair of exploding slacks. Did I know they were going to explode?, of course not, but some people say its as bad as if I pulled the trigger myself."





Went to Hong Kong this weekend. Post tomorrow.

Working on Musings, Pictures to Postpone

Went to an immensely odd German art exhibit that scared me to point of wetness. The gallery was located in what looked like a public rape house. I found the building far more artistically intriguing then the exhibit.

Where Unsolved Murders Go to Thrive.

It Was Raining and Ominous

Actual Angle of the Hall

Windowsill Ashtray

Hi Jeff/Johnny
(You Guys Should Totally Meet)

Duibuqi

My bad about not posting in a while. I promise to do it soon. Really soon, like right now. I live next to a 24 hour bowling alley. No longer is my 4am pick-up line inappropriate, lets go back to my place and I'll show you what I can do with three fingers. To be followed to be an even lengthier and better post. Not as soon, as in not immediately.

No Child Theft Behind

In order to do their part on the ongoing dilemma of exponential growth of population, China has put into effect the one child policy. Under this stipulation couples in China are permitted one child, whom they pray doesn't turn out fagala. This seems sensible enough for most but there is a specific group that this rule is detrimental to, street beggars. See in China, like in the United States, street begging is a full time position, but in China, like in Mexico or Vietnam, it is a job the whole family can participate in. The constraint is that the scheme is far more difficult if you only have one adorable nino on the payroll. Now that Oscar season is over and we have all unanimously agreed that the best movie ever made is Slumdog Millionaire (punching myself in the face), we all know that being a successful street hood is a two sibling operation. When I go down the street I know that the precious nino in front of me isn't going to sneak into my pocket from behind. If the parent tries it, I will notice him/her with my excellent peripheral vision and beat them like a Florence based gypsy. With two children, I could be had. As has been proven through my nephews, I do not multi-task well with children. Thus I would be a prime target for the magical practice of misdirection that could support the requestive community. But without the liberty of multi-creation these avenues of opportunity are lost to those who need them most. But life is filled with secondary avenues: as an alternative option (requestive) children could always develop a gang or even better a gang that sells Chicklets.

Lei Li @ Work

WILLY!!!!

The Rabbit Hole

I Feel Like Patton Oswald

Semi-Pro

Pictures Part 2

They Were Shooting Men in Black 3

A Rare Tender Moment Surrounded By An Even Rarer Green Environment

Kevin Bacon Impersonator

Pictures

Of Course I Don't Mind

Our View From Floor 5.. The Concession

The Cauldron

I have received complaints that I'm not posting enough pictures. Monkeys.